Dorian and Mike and Lana Rhodes

Nominee for American Red Cross Humanitarian Award
Category: Family of Humanitarians

For over 10 years, "Big Couple" Mike & Lana Rhodes have been wonderful friends and role models for Dorian. With children of their own, busy jobs, Mike & Lana exemplify the depth of character only a family of humanitarians could have. Lana, when not mentoring Dorian, also finds the time to volunteer at a local animal shelter for injured critters.

This "Big Couple" over the course of more than 10 years has volunteered in excess of 2,000 hours to make Dorian's life more stable, brighter, and with a stronger family.

They were matched in 1996, and have watched Dorian grow since age 6 into high school.

Colleen, Dorian's mother writes:

Mike, Lana and Dorian: A Brief History

Dorian always knew he wanted a Big Brother and when I first called to inquire, he was a little too young (I think the age limit was 6 at the time). So, on his 6th birthday, at his request, we went to the Everett office and signed him up to be on the waiting list. In far less time than we expected (I think they told us the wait for a Big Brother was two years at the time) we received a call from Big Brothers and Big Sisters of Snohomish County. There was a Big Couple named Michael and Lana Rhodes who were ready for a little brother and would Dorian be interested? He sure was and we were back in the office to meet about the match late in the summer of 1996. In September the match was finalized and we had no idea how great an influence and support Mike and Lana would be for Dorian or for how long.

The fall of 1996 was a time of intense change for our family: I had a new job with a long commute, so we moved from Everett to Edmonds to cut the commute and leave more time for family. This meant changing schools for Dorian who was going into 1st grade and that our home, his school, school district, day care and neighborhood would all be different. Dorian has Asperger's Syndrome, a mild, high functioning form of autism and one of the characteristics of his condition is that transitions can be pretty rocky. Dorian had just about all the transitions a young boy can handle and was having a tough time in his new school. Mike and Lana came into our lives right around this time and the most important element they added was fun, of which Dorian needed more at that time in his life.

Less than a month later, Dorian's Grandfather died and this hit our family hard. Even though he was in Mobile, Alabama, he was in frequent touch over the phone and through the mail. We walked through that loss and Dorian began to settle into his new school. The match with Mike and Lana worked beautifully as we all lived in Edmonds and Dorian always looked forward to seeing them. While we can never replace irreplaceable people in our lives, I think the match with Mike and Lana helped take the sting out of the loss of Dorian's beloved Granddad. Fast forward more than 10 years and Dorian still looks forward to seeing Mike and Lana.

The years have flown by and there have been moves, health challenges, graduations, performances, losses, recoveries, trips to faraway lands, home purchases for both families and much more. The constant has been Mike and Lana's presence in Dorian's life. They are very kind and sensitive to animals and their needs. Each time they adopt a new pet, they name the pet with the Hinkle-Rhodes last names. In this way they share with Dorian in welcoming a furry new member into the family he now visits a weekend or so a month, now that they live in Bremerton. Mike and Lana have shared camping, music, nature, games, fishing trips, film, sporting events and a lot more with Dorian. They have watched him grow up and helped him grow into a compassionate, patient young man who is kind and helpful to animals and younger children. I have always been aware of the required time commitment for a Big Brother or Sister which is for one year. With each move the question has been "Do you want to continue with the match?" The answer has always been an unqualified "Yes!" for which Dorian and I are both grateful.

When we make a new friend, we usually don't give much thought to whether or not that person will be in our lives in ten years or more. While they no longer live in Snohomish County, Mike and Lana have made the choice to stay in Dorian's life and they have been a healthy, positive influence on him. I can't stress enough that they have always welcomed him into their lives as a friend. The focus has been on fun and enjoying life during Dorian's childhood and adolescence. I'm sure I have missed many important points as I'm the Mom and mostly an observer. As our family has gotten smaller with both of the grandparents who were living when Dorian was born having passed away now, Mike and Lana have become like extended family. They were a tremendous support and haven for Dorian in the years between 1998 and 2005 when Dorian's grandmother was suffering from congestive heart failure and vascular dementia. My sister and I cared for her in her home for nearly all this time and Dorian helped, so the breaks he got with Mike and Lana helped him have more time to be a kid.

I think the term "humanitarian" may seem a bit out of reach for most of us. When I think of humanitarians, women like Eleanor Roosevelt or Mother Teresa come to mind, solemn-faced angels in sensible shoes, dedicating their lives to helping those less fortunate. But humanitarians come in all genders, shapes, sizes, colors, ages and can show up or welcome you into their homes with their furry friends and leave you with the feeling that life is a fun and the world is a safer and warmer place to be than it was before you knew them. This is the type of humanitarians that Mike and Lana are and the world is a far more beautiful, interesting place because they live in it.

Colleen

Despite moving to Bremerton in '02, Mike & Lana have been consistent in their meetings with him. They still make arrangements with Colleen for Dorian to come and visit with them one weekend a month. Mike takes the ferry over, and escorts Dorian back across the sound to their home.

They camp right on their property now, play a lot of games, go bowling, make cookies, and Dorian helps Mike around the house. Dorian sometimes plays with some of the neighbors.

In March '04 Dorian said "the match is good and is happy."

Lana writes:
Michael and I planned on doing something with children after we were done raising our daughter. We wanted to give back what we were given as children. We have love and energy that we wanted to share.

We found our way to mentoring through BBBS when one day we met a BBBS mentor. Although she was a complete stranger, she gave us her card and told us to give her a call if she could help when our teenage daughter was going through a really hard time. We found other options on that account, but were left being reminded that there are good, caring people out there.

We went through the approval process and then waited for our match. We had originally been matched with a teen. Sadly that one had to be dissolved. We waited and were matched with Dorian, this little 6-year-old cutie with red hair. Our first outing was to get a burger. We still remember that day. It was the beginning of a friendship that has blossomed and grown over time.

He keeps us in this century with what's happening now. We have seen movies that we never would have but for him. And Harry Potter would have been just something we had heard about. He even got Michael back on roller skates!

We all look forward to our annual events. Every October we go to Beringer Farm. We do the activities there and then go pick out our pumpkin. The BBBS Holiday Party is a must. We've had fun on all the BBBS camp-outs.

When you think about it what we do today becomes a memory for tomorrow. These times with Dorian will give us many joyful ones. We hope that we have done the same for him.

We don't plan big activities when we get together. Most of the time we play games, watch movies, cook together, talk and laugh a lot. Being a mentor doesn't mean you have to be going and doing. It is about spending quality time with your friend.

The fact is we are proud to have Dorian in our lives. Whatever we may be giving him, he is giving two-fold back to us.